After years of trying to entertain young people into faith, Erik Strandness says it’s time to rediscover the power of real conversation - where questions matter more than lectures.
It is becoming clear that if we want to reach our young people, we need to make apologetics more relational. The old approach of lecturing and preaching left little room for an extended question-and-answer session. Well-intentioned teachers would deliver their talks and then walk away from the podium, thinking they had just imparted the wisdom of God, when in reality, they had prematurely turned their backs on an auditorium filled with young people with hands raised, wanting to know why that wisdom appeared foolish to the rest of the world. We tried to shield them from hard questions by making youth groups fun and entertaining, but sadly, the Gospel was drowned out by noisy gongs and clanging cymbals. We need to reconsider how we engage our precious young people because eating pizza and playing hacky sack is a far cry from receiving the Bread of Life and participating in the extreme sport of working out one’s faith with fear and trembling. Sadly, because we didn’t give them our all, they turned out to be “nones.”
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Apologetics ultimately comes down to a two-way conversation. It’s not about answering the questions we think they are asking; it’s about allowing them to ask the questions that truly concern them. A genuine relationship is less about talking and more about listening. Our intentions may be good since we are excited to share what Jesus has done for us, but we must remember that He may be doing something entirely different for them. Our cultural struggles may not be their cultural struggles; therefore, if we want to give them answers, we need to thoughtfully take the time to listen to the questions they are asking.
Relationship formation is an art. If we want to create something beautiful for God, we must take our subject seriously. We need to become patrons of the art of conversation. Instead of painting our young people into a corner, we must allow them to pick up a brush and create a self-portrait. Every question they ask adds more colour to their palette and more nuance to their work. By engaging in conversation, we invite them into our gallery where they can learn how to use colour and texture properly. Salvation art takes time, so we must never become impatient and snatch the brush from their hands, then paint it for them. We must let them express themselves, because if we don’t, the final product will look more like a cheap forgery sold in a Christian bookstore than a masterpiece of faith fit for public display.
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Sadly, despite our best artistic intentions, we often give our children a paint-by-numbers faith and warn them not to paint outside the lines. We hand them a palette of black and white, even when they are going through their blue period. We make their faith so superficial that once they leave home and showcase it in the cultural art gallery, they are mocked by their avant-garde college friends for painting a Velvet Elvis. As parents, teachers, and pastors, we must ensure that our young people have a faith that is a true masterpiece, not youth group kitsch.
C.S. Lewis noted that we have never talked to a mere mortal:
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal…But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” (C.S. Lewis)
I suggest that we have never had a conversation with a mere colouring book… But it is masterpieces that we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal Screams or everlasting Starry Nights.
We must remember that we are shepherding remarkable Rembrandts, not weary Warhols. If God personally knit us together in our mothers’ wombs, the least we can do is appreciate His stitch work, because the power of our witness will be as unique image-bearing tapestries, not generic Christian welcome mats.
If we want to grow the Kingdom, it will be through the art of conversation, not the art of the deal.
Erik Strandness is a physician and Christian apologist who practiced neonatal medicine for more than 20 years and has written three apologetic books. Information about his books can be found at godsscreenplay.com
